What am I doing in DC?

I mean, really. I used to live here:


That's not the best photo I have of home, but I'm still working on transferring my info over from my old hard drive. A more representative pic of the home state will follow once that's taken care of.

Man, the last time I went to the beach was... 2007. It's been too long. It's so strange to think that once upon a time it was normal to put on a sweatshirt when the temp got down to 78 degrees, and the only accessory I even thought about was a freshly picked plumeria.

The weather today was nasty, though not nasty enough for work to be canceled. Boo. I was able to keep myself entertained by asking my coworker 800 questions and telling stories about things as inane as my Japanese grandmother's energy-efficient apartment and my thoughts about joining the military and changing my last name to Fox only so that when I call someone, they can say they have a "Major Fox" on the line. Once I started to bore even myself, I moved on to checking the weather in the capitals of Central Asian countries. When I think of how hard I have it here in DC, braving barely-above-freezing temperatures, I log on to weather.com and look up the average January temperature in Almaty and I feel better about my life.

You know what else makes me feel better about my life? New Kids on the Block, because on their song "Single" they offer to be my boyfriend 'til the song goes out. Which, according to them, is "the next couple minutes". So I have a boyfriend for a full 180 seconds, which is awesome because by that time I'm bored and I can move on with life unfettered by the chains of a relationship. And if I miss them, they recommend that I ask the DJ to turn the song back. Nice.

Another thing I really like about New Kids on the Block is that they are spiritual. I know this about them because on "Dirty Dancing" they claim that they're not going to get too close to a hot girl at a club, even though they're totally lusting after said girl, because they "don't want no karma". This is really difficult for them, because she's like Baby and they're like Swayze. Etc., and so on and so forth, forever and ever Amen.

And did you know the New Kids are from Boston? That's important because I really like Boston. And the boys who live there. Or are from there. They're nice. My favorite Bostonian man is the cab driver who hit on me as he was driving me, my boss and a colleague back to our hotel. He had an awesomely bad mullet, but it was okay because he was so smooth. Where are the smooth boys in DC? Note to self: at some point, discuss personal theory re: why everyone in DC thinks everyone else in DC is strange and awkward.

On a totally unrelated note, raise your hand if you can believe that a boy I used to date back in 2007 moved on and found a new girlfriend. I didn't think so.