An admission.

J JUST ADMITTED THAT I AM THE BEST!!!! I am so proud of him for finally embracing the truth.

Permits and Names

J: (referring to his concealed weapons permit) I got a permit!
me: (referring to my learner's permit) Me, too!
J: Not THAT kind of permit, Lisa F. Austin.
me: What does "F" stand for?
J: Frederick.
me: No, F is for fabulous. Or fancy pants.
J: Ha.
me: F is for "fun, comma, barrel full of monkeys".
J: whaaa???
me: No wait, it's "fun as a barrel full of monkeys, comma, as much".

Bagels for every ethnicity. Or not.

Lisa: What kind of bagels are these?
J: Look at them. What do they look like?
Lisa: I have no clue. Sesame, but then some kind of fruit, maybe, but I dunno. So what are they?
J: How can you not tell? Look, that one's some sort of raisin-something...
Lisa: (points to something with brown lumps) I'm particularly confused about this one.
J: Don't even bother. You're Japanese; you won't like that one.